Saturday 14th June 2008

After a year of pressure, the residents of 505 have decided to give in and hold a house warming - they would like to apologize to all those with new apartments who have been waiting for them, before holding theirs and in some cases have even held off buying altogether. Beer, wine and finger food will be provided to those who promise not to mess on the floor. Shoes are optional, but if worn, must be taken off before entering the apartment. Royal beer will not be served and the fridge is full if you ask for it to be chilled. Most of the snacks will be meat based or contain traces of peanuts, so if for some bizarre reason you cannot handle real food, then please bring something you find more palatable, but be prepared to share as some people just seem to be unable to take a hint. Hege and Bruce hope you all like Spanish style tapas, not that this is going to be on any menu, but they enjoy them, so it would be a good starting point for conversation. Plastic cups and paper plates will be provided and are to be used. This is because the host won't be able to clean much, due to a future recent operation. ONLY plastic cups are to be used! Seriously ONLY plastic cups! Music will be provided and yes, apartment 505 does have dance music, however its use will be limited. 80's music will most likely feature, but please don't expect this to be a given. The same applies to rock classics. Pop music such as Britney, Kylie and Robbie may be spun once or twice. However the 505 DJ is forgiving and has a broad genre under its belt, so don't worry too much. Jazz will under no circumstances be played. This is due to the 505 cats preferring not to have to handle it. While on the subject of the cats, please, no feeding the animals. They are pedigree Siamese cats, and as such have a bizarre tendency to puke on the floor and sofa when fed something they are not used to, and as mentioned previously the host will not be able to do much cleaning. Smokers will be sent down to street level for their addiction needs. Hugo and Bella are awfully sensitive to the smell of tobacco and are concerned with its effects on passive smokers. Raclette Grills are not good gifts, any attempt to bring one into the building will be met with much displeasure and if it does end badly, its reception will be taken as a challenge and approached in a like manner in the future when considering what to give others for their house warming's. These are not guidelines, but the way this event will be handled. Apartment 505 is looking to have an entertaining day and as such, any specific points may be wavered during the event. This wavering includes only those topics listed under food, beverages and music. However Jazz is seriously not music. Northern Scandinavian death metal is classified as Jazz in 505. Bruce, Hege, Hugo, Bella and the future recent breasts can't wait to welcome you to their home.